The Cow and the Chicken
by Seijuku Ceremony
Summary: AU- Kid used to have a perfect life, well... as perfect as it could be. Now? God was punishing him by sending two people in a box who are convinced that they are a cow and a chicken. At first, he does not believe them, but then again... he always wondered where the milk and eggs came from. Death The Kid x Black Star x Soul (KidStarSoul) Yaoi Full warnings inside
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING** : This story is not meant to be taken seriously. I have yet to discover a plot for this random book. This story does contain some nasty stuff so I advise that if you do not like **YAOI, SMUT, SHONEN AI, EGG LAYING(BY A HUMAN, YO), MILKING(ALSO A HUMAN), SPANKING** , get out of here as fast as you can! Save your minds!

Everyone else who is okay with torturing and tainting their brains, welcome!^^

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Death The Kid had a normal, perfect life. His father owned the most prestigious academy in the United States right here in Nevada. Hell, his father has this city named after him, Death city. His family lived in the lap of luxury; he has two step-sisters that his father adopted. At first Kid believed them to be delinquents but after teaching them wrong from right(putting up with his obsessive-compulsive disorder) they dimmed down to normal blondes who just don't give a fuck about anyone but theirselves. Actually, they are pretty caring but maybe that is because the girls are suddenly living in a mansion when they used to live in the streets about a month ago.

Kid goes to his father's school and has friends, believe it or not. He used to be snobby and stuck-up until one of his friends, Maka, took the stick out his ass and beat him into submission with it. He was looked highly upon and treated to royalty wherever he goes, even if he is just asking for directions to the bathroom. No matter, he has the kind of life anyone could wish for and would be careful not to rub it in anyone's face, unless he wants a Maka-chop to the head(he has yet to receive his first one). This does not mean Kid has no compassionate side. In fact, he is overly-obsessed with perfection and beauty. That would explain why he is at the top of art class. In fact, he(tied with Maka), is at the top of all his classes. Kid already had his life set ahead: To save the world from it's ugliness. Call it pathetic, but you have not seen what he has in the city yet.

He was perfectly content with how he spent his life. Nothing out of the ordinary happens unless he is with his personality-diverse friends. So imagine his surprise when the doorbell rings and he has to open it to find a delivery man with a large box in his arms.

"Delivery to Lady Death. A lifetime supply of milk." Kid wanted to laugh but firmly set his jaw and took the box, swaying a little when the weight gathered to him.

"Uh, I'm a relative. I'll pass it on." The man tipped his hat before walking off, muttering something like "Crazy-ass kids with their obnoxious weight-losing ideas..."

Kid raised his eyebrows but shut the door with his foot before carrying the box to the living room. He wondered why Liz brought a life-time supply of milk. Either she was trying to make at least a dent in her large allowance or she was really that obsessed with trying to have a perfect body for the rest of her life.

"She's not here at the moment." He muttered to himself while eyeing the box. "It does not look like it would have a life-time supply though... I guess I'll put them in the fridge at least."

Once he left and came back with a box cutter, Kid made sure to cut a straight line at the top and the edges. After taking ten minutes of that, he set the tool on the coffee table and opened it, getting ready to take thousands of trips from the kitchen and back. Nope.

Instead, he gets to have a lovely heart attack when something popped up fast in front of him.

"Hi! I'm a cow!" A childish voice rang and Kid stared frozen on his spot. His beating heart had already calmed down but his eyes was surveying the 'cow'.

It looked liked someone around his age was playing dress-up and decided to box himself up after thinking he really looked like a cattle to be sent off to a farm. And instead of those big, childish suits kids wore to dress up, this one was wearing one of the kinkiest cow costumes he has ever seen(not that he has seen others but he can tell the difference between 'innocent' and 'crazy-sex demon', curtesy to Liz).

He was staring with a twitching eye at the white and black tank top and leather black shorts that barely covered 1/4 of the tan thigh. This child also wore black elbow length gloves and stockings. What made his left-eye twitch was the random black spots on the white tank. What kind of mother let their child wear such a thing!?

"How can your cow be of service?" The child exclaimed while saluting. Kid raised his eyebrows at the blue, spiky hair and could have sworn that Earth indeed has gravity.

"Excuse me?"

"How can your cow be of service?" The child repeated more boldly.

"You're not a cow." Kid dead-pannedly said and the person gasped as though he had said something offensive.

"Not a cow!? Of course I am! I'm standing right in front of you!"

"What does that prove?"

"That I'm the life-time supply of milk you ordered. Guaranteed fresh from the cattle." Kid gave the boy a perplexed look and stared at the exposed stomach. He knew it was stupid but he had to make sure this was all a dream. Nope. No udders. So where does the milk come from then?

"Right. Where did you come from cause I'm sending you back." The boy shrugged and Kid was even more stumped. Great. The mail service just sent Liz a boy with an identity-crisis. What is even worse is that this person apparently does not know where he came from. Hopefully not from a real cow or anything.

"This can't be happening..." But when Kid yanked his own hair, he was definitely not dreaming. Which means that he really does have to deal with a kid that probably just came back from a coma.

"So what kind of milk would you like? I've got extra creamy, thick, sweet-"

"What the hell are you talking about!?" Kid questioned perplexedly and the blue-haired male leaned forward.

"Milk. M-I-L-K. How about sugar milk? That always makes me sleepy-"

"This is insane. Where the hell is Liz..?" Kid stood up and was about to drag her ass into the family room but felt the 'cow' latch onto his arm.

"Where are going!? You can't leave on an empty stomach!"

"I'm not drinking whatever the hell you have!"

"But I swear it'll taste better than what you usually have!"

"I'm not holding you to that!"

"Pleeeeeeaaaaaaa-"

"What's going on?" Liz asked while walking in. She blinked when she found Kid tried to move away from another person. "Huh. Who's that?" She asked.

"Your delivery." Kid muttered with a dark look and nearly suffocated when the boy now embraced his torso strongly.

"Delivery? No way. The survey said I'd win-"

"A life-time supply of milk! A cow at your service!" The 'cow' exclaimed happily while saluting. Liz shared the same dead-panned look with her step brother and stepped closer.

"You're not a cow." She simply said while giving him a once-over.

"Why does everyone keep saying that!?"

"Liz, what the hell is he doing here?" The woman gave a defiant look.

"Don't look at me like that, I never asked for a cow- I mean, child!"

"Did you even bother to check with the manufacturers!?"

"I-I-!"

"Free milk over here guys!"

"We don't want your milk!" The step-siblings rounded at the boy. The boy blinked before slowly reaching to grab the box cutter and held the blade toward his neck. The other two sweated with shocked expression when the teen began crying comically.

"I guess you guys could always enjoy a nice barbecue with steak and hamburgers-"

"Don't!" Kid snatched the box cutter from the 'cow' while Liz sighed.

"This guy is crazy. He really thinks he is a cow." She muttered while trying not to imagine herself grilling the boy.

"As if I'd care whether he kills himself or not. I'm a vegetarian but I'm not dealing with a dead body in the house." Kid said and took out his phone.

"I wonder if we can put him up for adoption-"

"What parent would be crazy enough to take him in? He'll end up on the streets."

"Well we'll mail him back to the manufacturers." Liz went over to the box and checked around it before paling.

"K-Kiddo... There's no return address!" Said teen looked at her.

"What are you playing at!? Of course there should be one unless they... unless..." Kid trailed off as the truth hit him hard. Whoever sent them this boy wanted to get rid of him. He could not blame them too.

"Oooh... What are we going to do? I can't be a mother at this age! No way." Liz protested.

"This is why I constantly remind you to update the antivirus. Where did he go?" The siblings stared at each other, then around the room and before they could go into full-blown panick, the teen walked in with two glasses of milk.

"Here. You can calm down wih this." Kid wanted to deny it but was too tired to reject him. He already felt like collapsing on his bed and sleeping forever, hoping that this horrifying day was just a realistic dream.

Both Kid and Liz wearily took a glass and looked at the drink.

"Is this safe?" Kid numbly asked and the teen grinned.

"Yup. I'm domestic!" Ignoring that last part, the siblings looked at each other in silent confirmation before sipping the drink. Both sets of eyebrows raise high when a sweet taste came in. Guilty enough, Kid liked the creamy, cold milk and he saw that Liz was equally surprised.

"What's your name kid?" Liz asked the blue-haired teen, who grinned widely.

"My name is Black Star." He said proudly and Liz smiled.

"Well, Black Star. I have to admit that this is pretty good. No sugar or fat or anything?"

"Nope." Liz hummed and took another long sip along with Kid, savoring the taste once more.

"Wow. Where did you get this from?" Black Star gave another large grin.

"From my penis!"

Kid spit out his drink.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, I'm glad you all enjoyed the last insane chapter. However, this is only the beginning so if you thought the first chapter was obnoxious, wait until we get through the whole story...**

 **Enjoy.^^**

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After helping Liz into bed since she had fainted at the word 'penis', Kid dragged Black Star into his room and shut and locked the door. Patty did give a look of suspicious when he lifted his step-sister into her bed and left before she could comment.

"If we heard you correctly, you said the milk came from-?"

"My penis. Yeah." Kid strained himself not to shudder and took a deep breath.

"So it's like pee then?" Black Star looked to the side and shook his head a little.

"Not quite. You see, it's kind of a process I go through in order to produce it."

"What? Eating grass?" Kid said sarcastically and Black Star grinned.

"Yeah! That's half of it," Kid's left eye twitched, "The other half is... well... like what any other guy does."

"... And that is?"

"Uh... jacking off." Kid nearly fell. All in all, he just drank semen.

"And you fed that to us!?"

"It was milk!"

"It was semen!"

"I don't have semen. Well... I can see why you think that but... Just think of it as milk-tasting semen." Black Star finalized with a thumb's up. Kid gave an involuntary twitch and narrowed his eyes.

"Let me get this straight. You... left to relieve yourself and came into two glasses?"

"Yup!"

"You came into two _full_ glasses of milk. How is that possible?"

"It's not all that hard actually. I needed to get that out anyways; The shipment took _forever._ " This all had to be some kind of a sick joke. It just had to be. After all, he had lead the most perfectly normal sixteen years of his life. So far.

"So you mean to tell me," Kid walked over behind the other male, "that you can actually produce another substance," He slipped a hand in front and slipped it in between the teen's inner thighs, "by gaining pleasure?"

Black Star flushed.

"O-Or maybe grass-"

"So technically, you made me drink your semen. Well you're clearly not as innocent as I thought."

"That's not-!" Kid pressed his hand more firmly against the teen's crotch and began rubbing. Truth be told, he did want to see how the process worked first-hand. But there was no way that a boy could produce drinkable milk from his penis. In fact, this whole situation should be laughable. And if today really was just some weird joke...

Black Star yelped when he was shoved onto the king-sized bed and Kid climbed above him in process, dipping the bed.

"Fine. I'll play along." Kid murmured and latched onto the boy's neck, feeling him stiffen. His hand immediately slipped down into Black Star's shorts and siezed hold onto his penis.

"Ah... H-Hey..." Kid ignored the protest and slowly massaged the half-erect member in his hand. He wondered if he was going at this situation the wrong way.

Nah.

His tongue glided on the supple, tan skin and wetly licked the pulse in Black Star's neck. After hitting these nerve points, he felt the wet shaft grow harder and his pumping speed increased. Black Star was arching off the bed and panting, giving small moans occasionally. Kid could not say that this did not turn him on but he needed to focus on proving his theory.

"I'm... Ngh... Oh." The teen's hips were now shakily thrusting up against his hand movements. Kid swallowed but forced himself to focus on his real intentions. He wondered why Black Star's penis was so wet and slippery since he surely did not come yet. The idea of what the sinful action looked like underneath the shorts made Kid harden completely.

Black Star's moans were now becoming higher pitched and his hips were jerking within every pull and tug. His face was flushed rose and beads of sweat formed from the hot room. Kid could hear his harsh breathing and bit his bit bottom lip to stop himself of imagining a similar scene with that expression, only he is fucking him.

"Ah... Agn... Ha... I'm-Ngh!" Black Star winced as he shook tremulously while cumming into Kid's hand. Kid looked down and pulled his hand out. The substance on his fingers were not sticky like normal cum. Strange.

Kid held up his fingers and gave a testing lick. His eyes widened.

It was milk.

...

Kid tucked in a sleeping Black Star before leaving the room, not feeling so tired anymore. He heard Patty causing havoc in her bedroom upstairs and did not bother to stop her. Instead he wanted to see what else Liz had won from the damned survey.

Kid got onto the computer and checked Liz's history. Seeing the survey and order form at the top, he clicked both links and checked out the site.

"I knew it..." He muttered under his breath and looked at the bottom of the website to see the fine print. Growling under his breath, Kid shut down the computer while glancing at the front door. Hopefully, Liz was not dumb enough to order another animal/human being. God only knows what the next person would claim theirself to be. Maybe an elephant.

"Kid?" The teen turned around to see Black Star rubbing his eyes while staring at him.

"Go back to bed." Kid simply said while getting up to go to the living room. Black Star did not do so and followed him instead.

"Do you believe me now? Huh? Huh?" Black Star asked annoyingly while yanking on Kid's dress shirt from behind. Kid ignored that action.

"Most unfortunately, I have no choice. It's just odd for me."

Both teens sat on the couch and Kid whipped out a book from under the cushion. Black Star watched him before leaning up and covering the book with one hand.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kid said with a bit of irritation in his voice. Black Star tilted his head and before grinning.

"You're horny!"

"Exscuse me?"

"Yup." Black Star slid his hand from the book to Kid's pants. "And you were trying to cool off with this book, am I right?"

"No, you are not right. Go away." Black Star only slapped the book to the ground before going down along with it. Before Kid could further protest his actions, Black Star was already undoing his pants and sliding his hand in.

"Y-You-!"

"I wonder what your milk taste like."

"I don't have-!"

"I'm gonna find out if you don't mind." Black Star said while pulling out Kid's erection, much to the teen's embarrassment.

"I do mind!"

"Hey, what's that?" Black Star said while pointing to the side. Kid looked to the side instantly and was about to ask what 'that' was when he felt a wet heat surrounding the tip of his aching penis. He instantly jolted at the foreign feeling but could not say he did not like it and shuddered as Black Star took in more.

"S-Stop..." He was met with a muffled questioning sound and groaned when Black Star gave a suck and let a hand fall in the blue spiky hair. Black Star looked up while taking in as much as he could, unknowingly making Kid even more aroused. He then moved up and repeated the action a little faster while sucking harder. Kid winced at this action and heaved as Black Star bobbed his head.

He groaned while slightly thrusting up with each bob and tightened his grip on the boy's head. He opened his eyes when Black Star pulled up completely before getting up and kneeling above his lap.

"What are you-" He said dazedly but got his answer when he felt his member being guided somewhere his virgin mind could not take.

"I want to see what happens when you pour your milk with mine. Inside." He whispered in the teen's ear, which made Kid flush even more.

"Wh-what-!?" Before he could react, Liz happened to walk downstairs at the same time to see both of them. Kid lost his voice as he tried to protest against what they are clearly doing and Black Star only blankly stared back at the woman. Liz suddenly strained a smile as she whipped right around to go back to her room.

"Silly Patty... To think I was actually awake. I must be still dreaming... It's all a dream..." They silently watched her leave before Kid shakily moved away from Black Star.

"This has got to stop. We need to find someone who'll take you in." _Because the sex tension is just not worth it._

"I'm fine here, thanks." Black Star complained while clinging onto Kid more, who rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, okay. First thing tomorrow morning we're taking you somewhere and we will not take 'no' as an-" Before he could finish, lips pressed against his in such a sudden force that he fell back with Black Star on top of him. His breath was still even after the boy leaned his head back up.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily." He murmured darkly. When Kid gaped at the threat-like statement, Black Star hopped and ran off with a huge smile.

"I'm gonna get to bed now! I'm domestic!"

Kid felt an eye twitch.

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 **Please favorite, follow, review, and I'll see you in the next weird chapter.^^**


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